Author: Melda Baysal Walsh
Who are you?
Many of us will probably jump to the most readily available identifiers to answer this question, such as our name, age, and occupation. I would like to reflect on this question more to extend and deepen our perspective on ourselves by approaching it as a rather philosophical question.
Personally, I see it as an ongoing question which accompanies me through my life with continuously evolving answers.
Finding out more about ourselves plays a significant role in the effort of getting to know ourselves more, deeper, and anew; and it requires curiosity. I would like to suggest that specifically in times in which we are looking for a change, it is crucial that we keep a curiosity towards ourselves alive within us.
How can we stay curious to ourselves, you might wonder. While the philosophical nature of this question makes room for its exploration from various angles, let’s approach it from a problem-saturated perspective by following the next steps:
- Ask yourself “who am I?”
- Think of a statement that portrays a problematic description of yourself, such as “I am a people pleaser”, “I always choose the path of least resistance”, or “I never get things done on time”.
- Stay curious to your own preferences. Ask yourself why it might be that you “prefer” to please people, to choose a path of least resistance or to get things done at your own pace.
- Try to identify your values. Which values are in support of the preferences that you identified in step 3? Maybe you prefer to please people to not get in trouble, or to not hurt others, or you see yourself as a helpful person and like to support others where you can.
You will most likely see that some of the problematic actions and/or versions of you in how you are relating to others are there to protect your values, keep your relationships stable and your sense of self (your self image, your reputation) in place.
The things we see as challenges or dislike about ourselves can be viewed differently when we can link them to our values. Identifying our value system is only one way to stay curious to ourselves while our values might evolve over time and through our experiences. A continuation of curiosity will thus support us in staying close to the ongoing experience of who we are as it raises awareness towards how to discover ourselves anew from time to time.
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