What is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment Counseling is a short-term offering for couples where one partner is unsure about whether to stay in the relationship and on the fence about attempting couples therapy. In other words, one partner is ‘leaning into the relationship’ and the other is ‘leaning out of the relationship’; therefore both partners are at a stalemate about what to do next.

Discernment Counseling is distinct from marriage or couples therapy in that the goal is not to work on the relationship itself, but merely to gain clarity and confidence about choosing one of three paths:

1. status quo – do nothing, stay in the relationship
2. proceed to separation/divorce as amicably as possible
3. commit to at least 4-6 months of couples therapy with divorce off the table for the immediate future

Discernment Counseling sessions can be anywhere from 1-5 sessions, sometimes with both partners present, and sometimes individually with one partner at a time. Mona, Avani Counseling’s Founder, has completed training in the Discernment Counseling protocol and reserves evening and weekend appointments for couples trying to navigate their next move.

Why offer Discernment Counseling instead of going straight to couples therapy?

In our work with couples over the years, we have often seen partners who are not aligned in their efforts to work on the relationship. These couples are called “mixed agenda” couples where one partner is trying harder to keep the relationship intact, compared to their mate. This disparity in intentions and effort can often sabotage the couples counseling process at the outset because there isn’t a full commitment by both partners. The second partner is more of a bystander in the process who has been coaxed into therapy but isn’t willing to put in the same level of effort into the relationship. Discernment Counseling is a way to align both partners into one of three paths so they have clarity and confidence in how to move forward.

Cost: 

$250 per 90-minute session, for up to 5 sessions.

Can I use my insurance?

No, Discernment Counseling is not considered couples therapy. Since a mental health diagnosis will not be given to either client, the session fees cannot be submitted to insurance. However, you can check with your Health Savings Account / Flexible Spending Account plan administrator if they will reimburse you for Discernment Counseling sessions.